Are you constantly tempted to scroll Facebook or Pinterest when you have other things you could be doing at home? Here are some tips to help you unplug.
If you’re like me then sometimes the weight of motherhood can feel heavy. Not heavy as in, “I don’t want to do this,” but heavy as in, “I really need to zone out!” In itself that isn’t bad. In fact, it’s perfectly natural. However, if we aren’t careful we’ll end up zoning out when we don’t need to and no one wants to live with that guilt do we?
Our kids need to learn to entertain themselves, be independent, and do things for themselves, but that doesn’t mean we need to neglect our duties around the house and be a present but absent parent because we’re too busy with our electronics.
Now, some of us work from home with our computers. I firmly believe there’s a difference in the time we need to spend on our computers to provide for and serve our families and time spent “escaping” from our families. At times I need the kids to play independently so I can meet an important deadline and that’s okay. Other times I just want to ignore them and look at Instagram so I can feel a little more relaxed. On occasion that may be fine, but it’s not a good habit to get into.
Here are some tips to help you unplug and be with the kids.
Leave your phone in another room.
I use my phone’s white noise app to help soundproof my newborn’s room so that is incredibly useful for me. I’m not tempted to check my phone because it’s not there. Out of sight out of mind is very true in this case.
Turn off notifications.
One thing that used to get me was hearing my phone beep and knowing it was a message, text, or email coming through. After turning off my notifications the pull to check my phone went down drastically.
Ask your kids to hold you accountable.
Your kids will probably be quick to tell you they get annoyed when you stare at your phone all the time. Ask them to remind you when you are using it. Then try to look at your child’s face and choose Facebook over it! Trust me, most days it will be hard.
Track your time.
There are apps that will tell you exactly how much you’re looking at your phone. Install these apps and after a day of normal behavior, check them. The sheer amount of time you spend on your phone may be enough to stop cold turkey. For Android download Quality Time and for iOS try Moment.
Give yourself set times.
I like to give myself times that it’s fine to browse social media. When I’m feeding my newborn or all the kids are in independent play time, I don’t think it’s a problem. I get my quota in then and am able to re-focus on the kids later.
I don’t think social media in itself is wrong, obviously it can be a real power for good, but it does need to be kept in checked. We often complain about our housework, but we probably had more time to do it than we think. The key isn’t to “deprive” ourselves of anything, but to learn to use our time wisely and in a way that benefits both ourselves and our families.
Go forth, mamas, and unplug!
Thank you for this post. Yes, I am trying to keep my phone in the cupboard and turn off the notifications on my phone. We also downgraded from an Iphone 5 to a I phone 4.
great ideas. I find myself at the computer a lot or on the phone.
Rachel,
I just finished a draft for a post very similar to this. Just last week, I decided that to be a more engaged parent, I totally unplug from the time we get home in the evening until 9:00. At that time my daughter is sleeping and everything I have to do to prepare for the next day is done. It was a hard transition. No phone or computer. I only watch TV if it as a family. I am either actively involved with her or with the something in the household.
I will definitely continue it. Anything that I need to “plug-in” to do will still be there when I plug in at 9PM.
Thanks for sharing!
I am still a work in progress, but I think that turning off notifications helped me so much!
I also deleted a few apps that I would glance at only out of habit. I do not miss them and I waste less time on them. Example: Twitter
Making set times is the key for me too. I TRY to be on the computer only when the kids are asleep, but we all know that doesn’t always happen. Similar to Emily, I’ve found that turning off notifications has been a big help. I might miss some instant communication, but the tradeoff is worth it.
I can’t tell you how much I loved this post.. and the balance you present in it. I hadn’t really thought of separating the time I spend blogging/working for my family and the time I spend just “chilling”. It’s such a helpful distinction. Setting boundaries, both for when I’m online and for when my kids need to entertain themselves cheerfully is essential, and your perspective will help. Thanks!
Great Tips !!! I really need to put some into play… The days’ really get away from us mom’s sometimes !!!
I like the tip about having your kids keep you accountable! And yes, something as simple as leaving the phone in another room has been all that I need to keep from checking “just once” lol.
Thanks for the tips! That is always an area where I could use a little encouragement. It helps me focus when I “turn off the noise” by simply leaving social media alone for a while. I have to stay connected more than I used to now that I am blogging, but I’ve been thinking about setting up some specific times during the day when I check my social media pages. That way I won’t be so distracted by it. 🙂